Peace Corps, Volunteers, and White Feminism

9 days left in service 

The gloves are off for this one

The Peace Corps slogan is “The hardest job you will ever love!”. Beautiful, right? Sure. I think that this dicho might be true for some people, though certainly not for everyone. Personally, this saying hits the nail on the head, however (for me) it leaves out the actual hardest part: the other volunteers. For many  the volunteer to volunteer aspect is actually what makes or breaks their service.

The thing about volunteers is that we are a pretty cut throat group of folks. Perhaps this is just in my post, but in PCG we are overall a group of highly intelligent, very successful, competitive, over achieving, accustomed to success, extraordinarily privileged group of people. These are all great attributes, however when an almost puro group of people like this get together life becomes extremely complicated. Whether or not it is the intention of Peace Corps, at some point service begins to feel like a competition ex: “What is this person doing in site?”, “why does our boss prefer them?”, “why are their counterparts so involved and mine aren’t?” which then turns in to this: “Well, they are just having more luck because their site is easier”, “they have ________(insert commodity here) so they basically aren’t even in Peace Corps”, “Their boss just likes them more because they suck up”, “it must be so easy working there”. These are all things I have heard, all of which are ridiculous and hurtful. The fact of the matter is service is hard for everyone. There may be certain aspects of a person’s site, work, project, work partners etc. that facilitate an easier route to success, but it’s not easy for anyone. Everyone has at least one of the aforementioned aspects of service that just really blows, and that’s okay, because it’s life. What isn’t okay is people trying to make others feel bad for having what they deem to be “easier” facets of service. As a group this is something we all suck it, which is most unfortunate, because at the end of the day, the service, etc. all we really have is each other. No one will understand all of our acronyms, experiences, stories about explosive diarrhea etc. like other volunteers (as they shouldn’t because something between swear-in and COS happens which makes as all irreversibly weird AF).

So why then do we treat each other so poorly? Maybe it’s the competition aspect, maybe it’s that this many ENFPs shouldn’t actually ever be in one space together. Maybe it’s that we don’t understand one another. I would like to take a minute to talk focus on this one.  We are a remarkably homogenous group. Most are cis, female, white, straight, upper/upper-middle class, able bodied, and well educated. So when someone is different they stand out like a sore thumb. We all already stand out, generally when standing #malnutritionjoke. In theory being unique and standing out is awesome, everyone’s special and unique just like everyone else, and all that jazz, but what happens when you spend all of your time in your community standing out and you really just want to be just like everyone else for a while, just be one with the group but you can’t because you don’t fit in with one or more of the bolded adjectives? What happens if you are a person of color, queer, from a different economic status, differently abled or a mixture of any of the above? You don’t fit, you (often unintentionally) are made to feel like you don’t belong. Black? What do you mean people try to touch your hair, it’s just hair* I don’t understand what the big deal is…? Gay? I don’t understand why hiding that part of yourself if that hard, it’s only two years. Lower economic standing? This is your first time ever leaving the country?? You’re so brave. Depressed? “If you are that unhappy you should probably just go home.” When these things are said I don’t think anyone means them necessarily maliciously, but ignorance often leads to someone’s feelings being hurt you sounding like an inconsiderate dick. How can you change this we ask? Educate yourselves! I love that so many women in PC identify as feminists, it’s phenomenal! The super unfortunate thing though is that so often what people say is “Yeah I am a feminist” when really what they mean is “Yeah, I am a white feminist”. What I mean by this is not that they are Caucasian and feminists, I mean..well look at these memes, maybe they will help explain 

Start easy, a nice definition

Aren't memes great?!

I understand that no one is born knowing how to be a feminist. Almost every advertisement, children’s story, insult we heard as children taught us how to be the antithesis of a feminist (see the which doll is prettier study), you throw like a girl, you’re retarded, that’s gay. We know how to not be feminists; we have always known. Now it is something we must unlearn. If this is something that seems like an impossible task (I get it, it’s daunting) I suggest starting with more accessible feminism bits. You love Beyonce (excellent, you are a decent human) listen to Flawless, What does Chimamanda say? What does that mean to you? You love the Ying Yang Twins, who doesn’t? Read (at least) an exerpt from Roxane Gay’s  Bad feminist or listen to her TED talk. If you are more of a visual person here are two youtube clips that I really like, one poignant the other just funny. 

 Why we need to talk about White Feminism
The Day Beyonce turned black  

So, to bring it back to the beginning. Dear volunteers, life is hard, let’s try to help instead of hinder others, okay? That means:

·         Do not lessen someone’s experience by speaking for them or pointing out the things that make their lives easier (you don’t know their lived experience)

·         Say NICE things, support each other

·         If someone is dealing with depression HELP them, don’t suggest that they go home de una vez

·         If someone says something shitty about someone and they aren’t there to speak up for themselves say something. Golden rule and whatnot

·         Don’t be a white feminist

·         Be a good friend

·         Don’t be a dick

Enjoy as much as you can. Service is hard. Somedays things suck and you hate everything and really just want to lay in bed all day watching Broad City and eating Chokis by the handful, and that’s okay. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself feeling mentally healthy. No matter what anyone says there is no shame in leaving, do what is best for you. I believe in y’all and seriously, if we can do this, we can do pretty much anything.

*literally never say it’s just hair to a person of color, there is a LLLLOOOOOONNNGGGG history to hair here, if you want to know more about it, look it up, or if you have confianza with someone look it up then ask, just remember, no one really wants to be the spokesperson of an entire identity so don’t ask them to be