EIST (early in-service training)

So last week we arrived back in our training sites for a two week training near our country office. Fun days! Nothing like waking up at 5:30 to head into the office at 6:30, be there are ready by 8, then have training sessions from 8-5, then commute back. It makes for very, very long days. I also had the fortune of being the only person to come back to our training site. I have always been really good at being alone, I know how to be alone without being lonely, and I love reading, but it’s really hard to be here, and be alone. My first night here I cried, in part because I just felt overwhelmed with seeing everyone. I have really missed my Bak’tun mates. I was also insanely tired, and I think I missed home. At that point I had been away from the lake for 5 days, and I miss it. I miss my things, my family, the way the rain sounds on the roof. I miss hearing K’iche’, hugging my host siblings, making the most misshapen tortillas the family has seen, and the kiddos guessing which funny looking ones are mine. Mostly, I think I miss the routine of what has become my life. It was just a very strange realization. I didn’t realize that’s what life was, the I had really become comfortable in my patterns, and that I would miss them.

Being back has its advantages though. It’s been wonderful catching up with people, and seeing everyone. Feeling those bonds that began to form so many months ago, strengthen. Also, being able to hug and touch people has been amazing. It’s hard when you are accustomed to affection to just stop having any amount of touch or intimacy with people,even just hugs at greetings becomes something that you start to yearn for. It’s also been nice being near Antigua, so much good fooooooooood. YES!  Also, it’s been nice catching up with staff and seeing a more joking light hearted side to our project managers, and the people who sorta dictate our lives. I am becoming increasingly more grateful for their guidance (I think the appreciation is directly proportionate to the increased amount of freedom and giggles we have this time around).

I also have not laughed this hard and this much in such a long time. It’s nice to realize that I am becoming less of a serious person and starting to more fully enjoy everything. Learning to let go and laugh at myself and not take me so seriously has changed who I am so much, and I don’t think I realized it until I was in a setting where many of the group dynamics were similar and only the way I perceived things was different. It’s nice to feel, and genuinely by happy. The deep breathing, pit of your stomach, sides aching from laughter kinda happy that has become possible these last few months.