site in 2 days

Welp, it’s time to move again. I am excited to get to my site, my project and new home. I will be there for two years, two years in one place; that will be the longest I have lived, actually lived, in one place since…middle school? Elementary school? I don’t actually remember, but a heck of a long time. I am looking forward to it but feeling a little apprehensive. I feel like I can’t really use the word nervous anymore, the peace corps has sort of broken down that barrier of nervousness; it takes a lot to get me there these days. Apparently moving away from everyone I know, all the relationships I have built and starting a new job with a new family, virtually alone doesn’t constitute “a lot”. Oh perspective, thy name is PC service.

So today, for the third time in as many months I shall pack of everything I have with me and move. It’s crazy to me that somehow everything fits in four bags, only one of which is heavy enough to feel like it has a body in it. That’s my new unit of measurement of weight, the whole metric thing was too complicated, now I just measure in SBP (standard Body Part) ie that bag weighs two legs and a torso. I still have to set an archetype for the standard body size, feel free to make suggestions.  This reminds me of how I also measure things in children, such as: the table is about a two and a half year old tall and a 6 month old wide. All of this measuring reminds me that I have a serious problem and should probably just learn how to use Kilometers and liters (as a side note it took me three times to spell kilometers right, not off to a great start). Damn you America and your arbitrary measuring standard based off of some stupid king.

I decided to make a list of things I will and won’t miss about my current home. I suggest not doing this in the future. Here’s what mine looked like

Things I WILL miss                                                                            Things I WON’T miss

Awesome family, kick ass host sister                       The duck that is the bane of my existence

Great food and no need to cook                                     frijoles and eggs twice a day. Everyday                                                                                          

Then I stopped because the duck interrupted me by screaming at me. This thing literally screams, I do not know what his beak brained problem is, but I really want it to stop breathing. If when I come back anyone has any good stories about being traumatized or harassed by ducks, get at me, we will exchange, because after two months I have had quite a few run-ins with that weirdo. One time I went to take a shower, as I was undressing I hear weird noises behind the curtain. My immediate reaction was to ignore it; clearly if I didn’t acknowledge what was behind the plastic shield of magic protection it wouldn’t exist. After standing in the bathroom for a solid three minutes half undressed I walked over very slowly (don’t worry I grabbed a comb to fend off whatever evil lurked on the other side). When I pulled back the curtain it was the stupid duck, I am not sure what it was doing, apparently just shitting in the shower. Excellent, it’s not like I wanted to clean myself there, so rude. Once at 4 AM he stood outside of my door screaming. Here they call it singing, this is a lie, a cruel joke, it sounds like it’s dying, unfortunately it’s not.

Here is a picture. I took a picture of him outside my room at 4 to document what the face of a sleep killer looks like.

One day I actually felt bad for him; I sat down next to him and tried to talk to him and hypothesize why he cried/screamed so much. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have any other stupid duck friends, or maybe it’s because he misses the water. Then I realized I was sitting on the porch looking at this duck trying to solve its life problems and unlock the key to its happiness. I have no idea when I turned into such a sap. I remember when I use to be a badass, people feared me. Three months later I am talking to a duck about his feelings. Peace corps!