The VRF

Every few months Peace Corps Washington makes us fill out a report stating all of our activities, with which goal the activity corresponds, where it took place, how many people participated or attended then this information is later broken down by the age and sex of the participants. By the end of the reporting period we can see all the activities we have realized through the course of our service. Looking at this list I am perpetually filled with a sense of accomplishment but also disappointment at the need to quantify every experience.

Though all of that causes an array of feelings that are confusing (because feelings are both hard and overrated), the section that bothers me most are the “share a success story” and the fun sill in the blank of “The one thing I wish Americans knew about my country of service is_____________.”

The troublesome part of both of these sections are correlated but I believe slightly different. The first makes me feel like some human interest piece in a hippie article (not that there is anything wrong with either of those things) but I suppose I feel exploited. I feel like my community is exploited. In this section the VRF (the report) explains in detail how to write a short story including the length and the information that could be included

I always fill this section out last even though it is actually the first page we come to. Share your success story! I think the very last VRF I fill out my success story will be having made it through my time here without shitting myself. I think I could consider that goal three… as long as I tell my host-mom at some point before and explain why it’s important to Americans.

That’s another thing about the VRF; I find myself perpetually wanting to complete it with smartass answers (everyone is probably shocked at this).

The question earlier for example: The one thing I wish Americans knew about my country of service is__________

Just a few smartass answers that come to mind:

A.      The literal translation for “I am hungover” here is “I am good fart”.

B.      If you have a penis the world is your urinal, you can pee anywhere, just whip it out and you are good. Also, you get bonus points for showing others your penis.

C.      Sometimes my host-grandma laughs so hard that her dentures fall out a little so she has to suck them back in really quickly, but she laughs a lot so her laughing is a series of partially spitting out and sucking back in of her teeth, and it is AWESOME.

D.      Most people will not open a window in a bus the size full of a minivan even if there are 35 people in it and it’s 95 degrees. Wind will kill you.

E.       The national anthem is 6 minutes long and always sang off key. I’m pretty sure it’s a rule.

F.       Being called “gorda/o” is a compliment so calm down Fatty.*

G.      Fuck Mexico.

There really are so many great options. What I generally say is something about the rich cultural diversity, which is very true, but the fact of the matter is that no person should ever be asked to sum up what people should know about another place or group of people with a response of just a few words. Setting the question up like that is setting both the responder and the country up for failure. “Here is the one dimensional take away you should have of this incredibly diverse, multi-cultural, multi-lingual, amazing place”.

Every time I see that question I am reminded that the end is dauntingly close, and that I will have to tell people about life here, about my experiences in Guatemala, and each time I am reminded I haven’t the slightest idea of what to say. I think maybe I will just start doing an interpretive dance and maybe staring at the person very intently.

But for real, I get called “gordita” all the time and when I first got here and had to mentally translate all the words before understanding I always translated “gordita” to “fatty”. My self-esteem is bomb